The Tongue Reveals The Mind

OK.  I was reading Essence recently.  There’s an article on a group discussion among 5 black men with a black woman interviewer.   The age range of the group is from early 20s to late 30s.  

Judging by their comments on sex I’d say that fornication is not even a word in most people’s vocabulary today.  Sex is EXPECTED in relationships that are not platonic.  The teaser on the front cover says “Get The LOVE You Deserve.  Real men on sex, cheating & what makes them commit.”  Apparently we will get the love we deserve by sleeping with every man we may want to develop a relationship with until one comes along who is READY to settle down.  And judging by one comment in particular (see below) we’re just taking chances on when that may or may not be.

In the group discussion one of the men said that “if the sex is not on point, we will not go to the next level. Sorry”. 

Another: “if you’re 30 you should know how to please somebody”…another: “you’re playing varsity now.  This ain’t JV”.  So according to these men a woman should be well versed in the bed in order to date them.  And if they decide they want to spend time with you, then you mean more to them than just sex.   And you’d better be ready to have oral sex.  This in addition to supporting their goals and knowing how to cook.  While you advance your career or business make sure that you keep the man in check and not let him take advantage of you–they want a challenge.  My question is if you’re giving him good sex, supporting his goals, cooking for him and just plain trying to please him…where is the challenge?  You could do all of this (and MANY do) and still end up single.  The man is not going to settle down with you unless he’s READY.  Good sex or not.  

Please don’t believe ANYONE who says that holding out on sex because of your faith is “old fashioned” and outdated.  That’s like saying the Word is dead.  Family consists of the husband, wife and children.  There’s a God given purpose for family.  There’s a God given purpose for sex only after marriage and there’s consequences for the continuation of fornication without repentence.  There are young people who strive to live by God’s guidelines.   Just one example out of many is a site named “iamworththewait.com”.  There’s also “worththewait.org”.  Both geared toward young people and celibacy. 

I say to my black sisters…don’t get discouraged.   There are men who value a woman who does not sleep around.   There are men who seek God’s will.   When we fall, sincerely repent and strive to please God, not man.  Clearly many men and women have turned away from the Word of God.