If you haven’t already read my ‘About’ page, then please do.  Despite the statistics do we still dare to believe in marrying an American man within our race — a black man?  As many black single women all over the United States of America cling to this hope are we being realistic?  I am of the belief that the world as a whole is out of order.  That includes black, white, brown or yellow people.  And it’s amplified in the black community.  You’ve heard it before: the odds are against black single women.  The ratio of black women to black men can be anywhere from 5:1 and as high as 20:1.  Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.  Look at the crowd when you go to social events whether it is in the club or church.  I believe that God can do anything.  He can restore order, but I did not believe He’d do it in my lifetime.  I did not believe he would bring me MY African American husband in my lifetime. 

But I had to repent.  I had to ask God to forgive me for my unbelief.  Because God brought to my remembrance the power of belief.  I have to continue to believe that God has my husband already looking for me.  One of the options I’ve had to open my mind to is that my future husband may not be black, he may not be even be American.  The key is to believe!  And if we collectively believe (there’s power when 2 or more come together and agree), then there’s that much more positive energy emanating from us and being drawn to us.

Yes, I’m passionate about this.  It was NOT intended for us to be alone.  It’s in our DNA to want to mate: date, marry and multiply.  In my 30s and 40s I was extremely frustrated because I WANTED A HUSBAND SOOOOOOOOOO Bad.  You see I did not and still don’t want just anybody.  I COULD be with somebody, but really.  Who has been available?   There’s Jim the player (because he can).  There’s John the player who’s also married.  There’s Steve who’s really interested in John.  And there are a whole lot of single black CEOs, lawyers, doctors, athletes, accountants and business entrepreneurs—in prison.  That’s a different post.

I’ve calmed down a great deal.  I realize that it’s not my fault I’m without a mate.  Most importantly–I’m basically happy.  I will NOT sleep with a man just for the sake of having sex.  I will NOT endure self inflicted pain behind some man who does not have me in his best interest.  You know what I mean.  You’re in a relationship, but you also know that he’s just not that into you.  Or you KNOW that he’s seeing someone else.  Been there, done that.  I haven’t been there often because I value what I have in me.  The man who ends up with me has a good lady.  I’m worthy of the best.  And so are many of you.  My man will have a STRONG desire to be with me beyond the bedroom.  I want a man who knows what family means.  Someone who wants to build a strong foundation spiritually, financially and romantically.  Someone who knows what life is truly about.  Someone who is willing to work at keeping our union strong—through the highs and the lows. He’s out there—my man.  Black single women don’t give up.  He’ out there—your man! 

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